MTved

And I am exhausted. Two days of should I or should I not. Two days of evaluating, self, them and the shows. And nothing.

Why make all this effort, I think then. Everyone is getting screwed over by every medium of media. I hear it from reliable sources and it happens to my friends. And I know I cannot change it as soon as I enter it, and will I be there long enough to change anything? So if I cannot change anything, then the forced passivity to things that I do not condone might undo the last vestiges of my sanity.

So. I thought lets ask those whom I respect. And again, I felt like I had been violated as those who I handed the secret of trust inverted it, perverted it for their own material. Their own end.

Had to. Had to had to move to the few whom I never need to trust, as they are just there. In my peripheries, too close to even need to trust. Just there.

And they answered my questions with the blunt edge that only those wield, who wield it with love.

cityescapes

It works out very well every time I sojourn to the city. I say that as if I come from the suburbs or a village. It has started feeling like that. I seem to shuttle between a glorified town and a organic growth that looks and smells like a city.

As of recent I am relatively free from university and I am expected to make a decision: Karachi or Lahore. Everyone has an opinion. Strong. Loud. Unyielding. And no one's opinion takes into account the one factor, that I call a deciding factor, me.

So. I think I will wait for 'me' to decide. The two cities have separate triggers and pulls. I sometimes feel like I am being torn apart by two lovers. Both exalting their own attributes, both leeching on to my energies. And I do love them both.

Perhaps its time for me to find a third love and settle there.