nocturnal notes

its just that moment at the end of a long hard day that we cannot bear that one tiny push, one tiny prick, that ideally we should ignore. it all falls apart at the seems, from the inside out in such a haphazard mess of toxin waste that even the bravest of men cannot wade through it to see the crumpled ball of weakness that is us curled in our foetal position. i was recently at a book launch that showcased a book which was at best cliched and at worst nauseating, when a newly found friend pointed out that it felt like the room was not full of humanbeings but of uterus'. sometimes in the worst moments i wonder whether it does actually boil down to simply that. a uterus with an umbilical cord that someone detached from only one end.

it all leads to...food

Perhaps I am stating the obvious, something that no one works to better because everyone is so used to it, like men scratching their nether parts in public, too many stray dogs and of course the smell of urination on every road side.

The lack of entertainment in Lahore that is not directly related to food is one of those in your face dilemas that we just take in our stride precisely because its been there for too long.

A good month is one which showcases one concert and one party. Nothing that can be shared by everyone. Some high end club event is not conventional entertainment.

A good week becomes where one attends a few meetings or attends a rally. One can tell that even the rich have run out of places to be seen and to buy out: the most regular 'gt' is a protest for the judiciary. On a positive note, at least someone is interested on any level in the antics that our government plays at.

I was out today with a friend, post lunch of course. Since I am not indigenously from Lahore, I often turn to my friends for entertainment solutions. So she thought, we wasted some CNG, added to the carbon emissions: too hot to sit in a park, too broke to go bowling in a place where two lone girls could venture safely, only two Indian movies up in the closest cinemas, the zoo had no parking since it was a Sunday and...

Nothing, she could only suggest PC for coffee at which we both laughed since we didn't even have money for bowling, let alone a cup of over brewed over priced PC coffee.

other than work and some very slow directionless activism, what is there to do in the city of Lahore?

Hold that thought while I go fix myself a plate...

Hendrix

My friend, one of my nearest dearest looniest ones posted this on her blog about Halima i.e Me...

"A Day in the Life of...

Halima wanted to get Cerelac for her puppy, Hendrix. Yes, it's quite hard to accept a dog named after a musician, and that too receiving processed cereal in the same world that has children dying of hunger. But then, Halima does her fair share for serving all kinds of living beings and may Allah Accept her worship, Ameen.So she wanted to get Cerelac for Hendrix and we stopped at a pharmacy for it. Conversation that follows took place inside the store.Halima is wondering whether she should take Cerelac Banana or not, and I suggested that she had the option of choosing Cerelac 3 Fruits as well, since she was considering fruit nutrients.To which Halima replied, "Kutta hai..." in a self-explanatory tone.To which I cautioned, "Halima... Munnay ke baaray mein aisay baat nahin kartay."Pharmacist looks on. "
Posted by Fatikay

All I wonder is, why the distinction, whether I feed an animal or a human being? Fatima, I know how you make this distinction and where you blur it, but the rest of the world, I wonder, hasn't seen the world around with their their 3D googles on recently.

Its not just animals, its all of those who cannot speak for themselves, take a stand for themselves, feed or clothe themselves: they need someone. I mostly chose to be that someone for animals as they always get the shorter stick in our country.

MIlitary Inc the new Rushdie best seller of the military regime

Those who are wondering why suddenly all shops claim to be out of copies of Military Inc. should rush to Khadda market karachi. I don't want to name the shop specifically but look hard and you will find it.

Otherwise email me, and perhaps u can be helped.

Buy it just to access your freedom.

man eat man

Sometimes I wonder what gives us the inflated sense of superiority as a race that allows us to plunder cross species, countries, generations and genders.

Animals fight, true that is. True is also the fact that human beings are possibly the only species that cause so much damage cross spectrum.

We kill each other; for honour, for money, for power, for fame, for the 'greater good of the world', for self satiation.

We kill animals; animals we eat, animals we dont want to eat but want to collect skins and tusks of, or showcase as shawls so fine that they can pass through a ring, we kill insects that bug us and bugs that aren't even harmful or in our way.

We ruin the eco system; we create substances that mother earth cannot ingest, we create toxic waste that in turn kills us and them, we create fuel wastage that burns our lungs and our ozone layers. We chop trees to make signs that say do not chop trees, we create ciggerette packs that say smoking is injurious to health and then sell them at competitive rates.

And we rape. Even animals.

Sustainable development evades us as we create so much that we cannot sustain our resources for any further sustainable development.

We give other nationalities peace prizes while we fatten our defense budget.

The animal kingdom choses a leader who is best for the pack, in a fair fight they chose their leader. We chose a leader who at best is best at filling his own swiss bank account.

They all say I am mad that I want to drop my own life for the life of an animal, I say they are mad, they want to inflate their sense of inferiority by a pretense at superiority.

Big phallic representations that shoot across, acclaimed to be guided to the closest metre, then falling on a family of women and children.

I accept, Allah gives us the ability to be the superior race, I do not accept that merely by being we are.

nirala sweets: sweets for the murdered

Car snatching, robbery, petty theivery, mobile snatching: almost all these crimes refer to the poverty of Pakistan, where mostly the uneducated, poor, malnourished, underfed and under supported population either neccesitates their requirements through those acts. Or has reached a point of apathy that psychologically they feel that these crimes are their due, their right. Snatch what they do not have, and enter a circle of laziness and depravity.

Thats their excuse.

Whats the excuse of a man, sitting behind a new Porsche, sitting on a chain of uppercrust confectionary chops, who while satiating his need for speed, kills a 2 month baby as it is tossed out of a windscreen and presumably his already maimed body run over, breaks the mothers spinal cord and injures the father? How can anyone justify his threatening by brute force, the family members of the ruined family unit to stay silent and then having enough clout to override the system and go scott free on "pre arrest bail" ?

Where are the headlines? Accuse America of propaganda, of excessively highlighting one instance of someone accused of assault and battery and trumpeting it on national television, but wait and see. It works. Even if this propaganda can be used to elect the Texan monstor, it can and IS repeatedly used to achieve justice.

Today a teacher rather defensively pointed out how we just make drawing room conversation. I want to challenge her statement. Lets act this time. Make an example. Stop using Nirala. If the Danish cartoon controversy could rile up the masses cross continent, then why not in an educated, civilised manner use it in our own country to cause ripples across Musharrafs badly knitted surface and cause that rip. That tear that will cause everything to fall apart because its weak.

And restitch the fabric of this nation.

it works it works

I have had a blog account (? is that how we refer to it?) since summer 2005 I think and never completed the set up. Someone i love dearly inspired me today to continue the possibility known as blog. I realised that where I might not get every article published or even bother to articulately write an article, I can post on blogspot everynow and then...

Thoughts for today
If President Pervaiz Musharaf is for the masses as apparently he is not from the masses, then would he not care to keep his engagements far from our mainstream venues and transport networks?

In the blistering cold of winter Mr President deigns to visit PC Lahore creating utter chaos and melodrama: all the guests or visitors were made to walk in the cold of the night to access their cars from an alternate uncomfortable long route. This discomfort after having to endlessly wait for him to safetly scuttle in with his endless protocol. I am sure others entertain the same feelings of anarchy when upon finally leaving PC Lahore they come to halt on the Mall and Jail road to a back tail a mile long and halted for 45 minutes.

Shame Mr Musharraf, even if every head of state in Pakistan desired this paranoid exalting measure of security, why claim to justly rid the system of gliches when you become a glich the minute you leave the artificial security of the barracks?